blue.. so blue
i feel so lost. don’t know what to do. i thought i was over her but something deep inside keeps telling me i’m not. each time i see her everything comes back to me again. the past.. all those wonderful times i spent in her company. a feeling of bliss uncomparable. and just last night i lost it all. just like that. wasn’t surprised thought… like a final confirmation of a nagging suspicion. wanted so badly to get myself drunk. i’ve been there before. i’m happy there. couldn’t even find someone to confide in. felt like crying, but a branded wound can’t bleed.
it hurts. hurts like hell. don’t know if i’ll get over it, but i wish i will. don’t know how i can ever bear speaking to her again. i don’t know i don’t know i don’t know i don’t know i don’t know i don’t know.
need to scream to rant to cry but no one will listen.
had a dream filled sleep.dreamt of her i think.all a blur now.
don’t have the mood to go for yoke’s party later.
wrote march the 28th last night.
Gary @ 29 Mar 2002 :: Old Deadjournal posts :: No Comments »