neverforeverdotnet

<bitchin ‘>
I have clocked about 10+ hours on the EASG servers so far. My ping is 4 (that’s four milliseconds. Some IC’s have longer rise-times) on average, and peak out at 100 on bad days. I am learning to pop a few people, and am getting into the teamwork spirit of things. I have a decent number of points each round, which should put me comfortably on the fast track toward my first rank… BUT they refuse to show up on BFHQ. I am playing on an official Singaporean EA server… I demand better!

hG! How?! I can’t even retrieve my own stats at bf2stats.com… what difference will registering on bf2tracker.com make?
</bitchin>

/sad

//for those who don’t know what I’m talking about… Imagine spending about 10 hours on… erm… FF X II or something.. You train, you fight, and you defeat a boss monster or two. Then one day you realise you’ve gained 0 XP so far…

Gary :: Nov.29.2005 :: Bitchin', Games :: 10 Comments »

Ah… in the good old days when 419’s showed up in your inbox looking like “HELLO. MY NAME IS MOYAKUBE KILDO AND I AM THE ADVISOR OF…” You could tell at a glance that it was a 419. Nowadays, one has to actually read as far as the From: field before deciding to trash the thing.

Progress.

Continue Reading »

Gary :: Nov.28.2005 :: A thousand words :: 2 Comments »

The Onion recently carried a story about FCC regulation changes which will make ADHDTV the de facto standard in the US by 2007. This one got me laughing to myself so hard I had to close the door so it wouldn’t seem like I was going crazy.

The mandate to conform to the new format has already been met with some resistance, particularly from movie channels like HBO, live programs such as ABC’s Monday Night Football, and the History Channel, whose ambitious five-part, 10-hour historical documentary about World War II, slated for completion in late 2007, will have to be shortened to a six-minute montage of the war set to a medley of Ashlee Simpson hits.

Some networks, however, are embracing the change.

God, I love satire.

Linky.

Gary :: Nov.25.2005 :: Funny, Good readin' :: No Comments »

If you’re like me, and thought brussel sprouts were something like really teeny tiny cabbages, growing cute in some little patch somewhere, you’re wrong.

Oh so wrong. They grow on two-foot long… things. Link goes to a recepie for said sprouts. Looks simple enough… might try it someday.

Linky.

Gary :: Nov.25.2005 :: Good readin' :: No Comments »

I
do
not
know
where
family
doctors
acquired
illegibly
perplexing
handwriting;
nevertheless,
extraordinary
pharmaceutical
intellectuality,
counterbalancing
indecipherability,
transcendentalizes
intercommunications’
incomprehensibleness.

I love bash.org.

Gary :: Nov.25.2005 :: 1337, General :: No Comments »

A guy named Dean Gray has produced an American Idiot mashup; edits of the tracks from Green Day’s latest album. This is where the original Blvd of Broken Dreams / Wonderwall mix comes from.

Oh, did I mention it’s free for download too? Wonderful.

Linky.

Gary :: Nov.24.2005 :: Music, 1337 :: 1 Comment »

Alrighty, folks! Welcome to this week’s episode of Weird-ass Search Terms Which Brought Traffic To My Site! What do we have lined up, Bob?

*announcer voice* (Vaguely British, like having a butler hinding in the wings with the voiceover mic)

“Well, Gary, I think we can safely say we’ve really outdone ourselves this time. While the top search has nowhere as much subtlety nor wry wit as last week’s abnormal shitting, I’m sure it’s still pretty entertaining for our viewers at home as they try to figure out what exactly these peoples were thinking of as they sat at their keyboards…”

*gameshow fanfare*

“At number 10:”

*big CG “10″ wooshes across the screen*

mouldy cheese

“By Jove! This here don’t exactly look like The Ritz, does it, Gary? My friend here would be really pleased, though.”

Continue Reading »

Gary :: Nov.24.2005 :: Entertainment, General :: 2 Comments »

First spotted on BoingBoing, then on Slashdot: a good read about a guy who spent 11 years on a quest to create coloured soap bubbles - failing many times along the way.

And then the bubbles broke—on the kids, on the parents, on cars, on Haddleton’s prized German shepherds. It looked like there had been a paint fight. Kehoe had told the parents that the color would wash out, but it didn’t matter. Not when their children were covered head to toe in blue and pink splotches, when the color was getting into their shoes and hair and soaking into the concrete. In the faces of the horrified mothers, Kehoe immediately grasped the lesson. “You can’t go to market with something that leaves that much color, even if it is washable,” he says. “It freaks people out.”

Sometimes the simplest ideas are the best. Zubbles is the brand name of the final (successful) product, and will be on store shelves in time for this holiday season.

Linky.

Gary :: Nov.23.2005 :: 1337, All the news that's fit to print, Good readin', w00t! :: 1 Comment »

Classic examples of lowlife scams which work when you don’t read the fine print.

You are bidding on this email address: xbox360seller05@yahoo.com This is a great email address to have to make the best sales you can get. Good luck with the auction. Thank you.

This auction is for PREMIUM GRAPHICS of a xbox 360. The photos include Call of Duty 2, Kameo, Project Gotham Racing 3 and more! Acessories shown include wireless controller, Remote Control and the xbox core system!! This auction is for a photo!

Gotta be seen to be believed.

Gary :: Nov.23.2005 :: General, Sad :: No Comments »

Originally posted November 19, 2005 @ 18:36

The Global Language Monitor has released a list of 2005’s top Politically (in)Correct phrases. It includes examplary samples of bovine excreta such as

Thought Shower or Word Shower substituting for brainstorm so as not to offend those with brain disorders such as epilepsy.

and

Womyn for Women to distance the word from man. This in spite of the fact that the term man in the original Indo-European is gender neutral (as have been its successors for some 5,000 years).

As intellectually challenged as an imperative signal of angry dismissal, oftentimes a synonym for coital interaction.

Personally, I don’t call a spade an entrenchment tool. If you’re missing a leg, you’re crippled. You’re a cripple. It means exactly that - Someone who is impeded (maybe not mentally) but physically nonetheless by the lack of a limb. I would think twice about using “disabled” or, heaven forbid, these abled.

My stuff is old, not pre-owned. You’re a juvenile delinquent, not a troubled youth. Civillian deaths are not collateral damage. I do not expect to be served by a waitron. A stewardess is a stewardess. He’s got a penis, he’s a steward. You’re not flight attendants nor cabin staff. I brainstorm, whether you have one or not. I’m a Chink, you’re a Flip, he’s a Negro.

I am homo sapiens, Man! Not a generic humanoid carbon unit, you anus. May all you politically-correct people be taken by an unforeseen cardiovascular event.

Gary :: Nov.23.2005 :: Bitchin' :: 2 Comments »