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STOMPer Mabel said she was “reading with pleasure and savouring the delicious images” of the restaurants in The Straits Times when she saw something she was not supposed to see.

The STOMPer was referring to Lifestyle’s October 14 2007 article, Lifestyle 100 Best Dishes from The Straits Times (Page 24).

“I was reading with pleasure and savouring the delicious images of the restaurants when I came upon one picture of a food article that freaked me out and made my heart stall,” she said in an email to STOMP on 18 Oct.

“I saw something which I wasn’t supposed to see,” the STOMPer said of a food picture of Torisho Taka Restaurant by Aoki.

“Behind the picture shown here, I saw a mysterious man decked in long white sleeved gown like a priest,” Mabel said.

“I confirmed it with my friends and family members and neither of them think it was a chef running across the picture.

“As one can see, the figure was simply standing. And there were no speed marks. His body fades off from the middlle.”

STOMP checked with Straits Times Food Critic Wong Ah Yoke, who said the figure in the photo is…a chef.

He said the photo was provided by the restaurant and was shot under dim lighting.

I am very nearly lost for words on this one. How can anyone - anyone - with an iota of common fucking sense possibly say what this moron just did? How is it even possible? This is Singapore’s equivalent of the bastard-child of the Redneck’s rednecked-cousin’s inbred children.

Seriously. Is there any more plausible reason for her disability than her parents being siblings and simultaneously being a victim of long-term childhood abuse? She’ll probably die an early death while investigating the smell of water at the bottom of a swimming pool.

There’s a special hell for people like her - filled with mentally-stimulating colouring books.

Gary :: Oct.22.2007 :: Bitchin', Dumbfuck :: 1 Comment »

Just as the US has its share of dumbfucks seeing the Virgin Mary in tortillas and such, we have idiots to call our own.

Furniture exporter Charlie Lim, 50, said: ‘We’ve had enough of all the monkey business. These people don’t live here, so they don’t realise the ruckus and inconvenience we’ve had to put up with.’

Mr Lim’s frustrated outburst was echoed by most residents who spoke to The New Paper on Sunday.

Kudos to TNP for the hard-hitting journalism, and the simian pun.

Link.

Gary :: Sep.24.2007 :: All the news that's fit to print, WTF, Fucked up, Dumbfuck :: No Comments »

Insightful Miss South Carolina is all the rage on the Internet these days, with a stunning plan to tackle illiteracy in the US.

Gary :: Aug.28.2007 :: General, WTF, Dumbfuck :: 1 Comment »

It is thought to be the first time that a juror has been accused of listening to music during a trial. John Cooper, a criminal barrister, said that people found guilty of contempt received an average of three years in prison. “It follows a long pedigree of contempt cases including jurors falling asleep and, in one case, jurors who used a Ouija board before they found a defendant guilty,” he said.

Linky.

Gary :: Jul.11.2007 :: pwned, Dumbfuck :: No Comments »

…Zackey reportedly advised a Gauteng woman, Amal Nassif (37), earlier to look at the sun, and if she had faith, the Virgin Mary would appear.

Nassif stared at the sun for about a minute and lost her sight.

“I can’t seen anything. There is a large dark blind spot,” she was quoted as saying.

Need I say more?

Linky.

Gary :: Jun.24.2007 :: WTF, pwned, Dumbfuck :: No Comments »

Totally disregarding the fact that her son is nothing more than a wanton waste of sperm, this NSW mother has taken the educational system to court - and won - to the disgust of Netizens everywhere.

…while at Woodberry Public School in 1995, Mr Cox was “throttled” by an older boy, and received compensation from the Victims Compensation Tribunal over the attack. By the time he went to high school, his mother said he thought school a “scary proposition”.

“He didn’t like crowds, he didn’t like teachers, didn’t like the work,” she said.

The court heard Mr Cox, who is now 18, was a virtual recluse. He had only completed schooling up until the end of year 7, and an attempt at home schooling had failed.

His mother said he rarely went out, had no friends, and was on a pension.

“He just locks himself in his room playing PlayStation games,” she said.

Can’t say I blame those kids… I feel like kicking his face.

Link (with pic of said face)

Gary :: May.14.2007 :: pwned, Dumbfuck, I hope you die under a bus :: No Comments »

…go round and round…

“He (Sbano) suggested he would apply the cream to his penis and apply it inside her.”
…
“It began to dawn on her that he had devised this treatment in order to have sex with her on his terms.”

Link.

Gary :: Apr.27.2007 :: Dumbfuck :: No Comments »

9 year-old boy or not, I hope he stayed conscious long enough to realize what a fucking dumb shit he was.

I hope his friends dream about this for the rest of their lives. So they can teach their spawn how not to lead stupid, short lives. News like this almost proves the Theory of Evolution, cos this one sure isn’t going to have any kids of his own…

Link.

Gary :: Apr.27.2007 :: Dumbfuck :: No Comments »

BREAKING NEWS. GET IT WHILE IT’S HOT.

Clearly, this warrants IMMEDIATE INVESTIGATIVE RESEARCH:

P.S. Must not forget to consult the Official God FAQ.

Gary :: Mar.31.2007 :: Dumbfuck :: 3 Comments »

Well, here’s the clip that’s quite the hotness these few days… at least until Paris Hilton takes something off again.

This is Ian Benardo from the latest American Idol.

I found myself wondering quite a few times, as Randy probably was: Is this guy for real?

Gary :: Jan.27.2007 :: Sad, Dumbfuck :: No Comments »